I said 'No' to something which I thought I will never do.
When I have said 'No' to something in the past, I have kept saying 'No'.
When I have declared such things in the past, they stop being true... sometimes.
Is there a special kind of tiredness or laziness that makes you act like a donkey on the mill? Where you can do one thing very well tirelessly but do absolutely nothing else? A strange concoction of fear, indifference, apathy, sadness and... loss... a tendency to be solitary to go with it keep you away from people who are, in a universe of objects ever growing distant, still the closest, outside work. What excuse can you give for being an absentee 'anything' and still claim to be caring? Is that even a possibility? What if I consider myself imprisoned? Does that work? An average of 8 months spent in a 1Km radius with a brief venture for not more than a few hours into an 8km radius at the end of it must qualify as one? What about someone having to be everything to himself and since some of himself was not feeling up to it? No? Load of garbage? Sounds just about right.
If and when this donkey leaves the mill it will take off on a tangent. I will write about that if it happens.
In moments like this I start feeling like Humphrey Bogart... guess the name of the movie.
People (ha ha) associate with this prisoner in solitary confinement at their own risk.
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| http://www.flickr.com/photos/27735353@N08/4190681708/sizes/m/in/photostream/ Saw one such owl recently... in the moonlight. staring straight at me...T'was surreal |
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